Since moving back to Woelferlingen, we were able to attend the start of carnival- the 11.11. at 11am in Koeln with lots of crazy drunk singing and dancing people. i liked it overall, but not when we first arrived and walked through really dense crowded areas and i thought i was going to loose it, too much close contact to lots of smoking drunk people laughing about the swine flu and pushing to get through to where ever they wanted to drink their next beer. so crazy!! but the colors and creativity people had was refreshing. and watching from a distance was a much better fit for me after seeing at maximum maybe 50 people around the towns where we live, thousands and thousands was a bit much.
ralfs siblings seem to be going crazy with the whole swine flu scare here. most of them want to get the vaccination and one of his brothers has the flu but will find out tomorrow if it is the regular or special variety. another woman i am in contact with said the boy living next door to them got the swine flu and is recovering well. i am so curious with the scare this is seeming to make what the outcome will be. more jobs available? population control? i keep hearing all these crazy things about what is happening in the usa, and how many people are dying there, people lining up to get drive through vaccinations ect. i am not so worried one way or the other. i dont fear death but especially as all of nature is returning to death and darkness i find it all to be a part of the cycle we follow in life.
Here are some pictures from the last weeks:

Dini and i, 26 weeks!

so dika!

my thoughts bring to mind a semblance of Pocahontas and john smith?

more clowns

ralf drumming with the samba group, with fairy princes dancing around

clowning around

isnt his hair so great!??

moving back

Hi all,
over the weekend we came to the conclusion it would be better to live with ralfs parents again for a while until we can find somewhere more suitable for us. Ralf has had a very difficult time working for the man we were renting from and felt stressed out and controlled all of the time, during work and free time. so we search for another place and moved everything back to his parents at:
Rotenhainer Str. 13
56244 Woelferlingen
(0049)(0)2666488
we will have any post sent to us there from Holzhausen, but it wont start till next week.

i feel alittle disappointed in all of this, because i want to settle down and be in one place so badly until the birth, and i love the midwife we found, but the man is so controlling and creepy, i dont feel safe or trust him at all. ralf parents at least have an attitude of love and welcome us fully to be as long as we want, but there are many reasons to have our own space. i get to learn more german here too!
so different from the experience at camphill, where i didnt feel like i had to lock doors or fear someone would enter without asking into my private space.

we had a really wonderful conversation for a few hours last week with the midwife about moving that brought up alot of things for myself i am still processing, and hope for finding a better perfect place for the two of us to be.
we found a job working at a nature park(zoo) but they want to find a new animal and garden tender in january now, so no longer an option...
we go to register once again in Selters, at the district office and continue the search for something better.

my practicing on the accordion is coming along, i am learning mary had a little lamb and working hard to be able to use both hands doing such different things at the same time!! its so fun!! baby kicks all the time and i am pretty sure knows ralf is its papa because it gets really excited and kicks more when it hears his voice!
love and peace

music makes life beautiful!

Some updates from the past week or so...

Halloween in germany is a relatively new thing. kids come dressed up to the door and ask sweet or sour? and if you dont give them something sweet, ralfs dad said something about them slapping or hitting or doing something 'sour' back. so its not really common. its more common to revere the day of the dead and care for graves of loved ones on the 1st of november.

We went to visit Katie in Douai last weekend and fell in love with this northern city of France and i fell in love with the belfry of the city. In the top of it rests a 62 bell carillon, that plays such delicate and pretty chimes. try finding a you tube video of it, the sound is so great! we had a lovely time with katie walking around and seeing her life teaching english in middle schools.

when we went to see ralfs parents on saturday, we also picked up some of his many drums so he can start practicing for November 11th, the official beginning of Carnival in Koeln. its going to be crazy!! we also figured that if the baby comes on time or later, we will also be able to go to the carnival in koeln this coming february and experience this rich tradition, dancing and making music and partying in the streets, i think i will paint my big belly too. maybe its too cold? we will see.

along with the drums we picked up ralfs grandfathers ACCORDION!! from the 1950's as i have always wanted to learn this instrument and have time to do so right now. its so beautiful and not to big for me or my belly! it has a lovely sound. i asked if i could by one i saw for sale last week as i was missing france and ralf said 'oh! we have one already!!'
i can play the notes for jingle bells as of today!

also, not related to music, we are realizing this is really not a healthy place to be living for us as the man ralf works for/rents us the place is super controlling and really crazy. His support of gun use for protection, his ideas to put up cameras so that 'big brother is watching everything' and his fear of every person makes this place feel very uncomfortable for me and ralf. even in the work ralf does, the man doesnt like to throw anything away, even if its broken or rotting and says oh i can use it for something else. but he has three houses/barns full of stuff that i really dont think anyone will ever use. i want and need to have a freezer to start making chicken and beef stock, meals to pull out easily that are healthy and good so i dont spend so much time cooking, especially as the due date gets nearer. so how much longer we will be here is unsure. but finding a job is the difficult part right now and we will start doing more intensive searching over the next few weeks. while everything is still so expensive there are very few jobs available.

the midwife came over on wednesday and took my blood, to get a mutter pass, a required document to get money from the state and other agencies. i cant remember the last time i had my blood taken! its been so long!! we also heard the heart beat from the umbilical cord and from the back. very strong and fast compared to my much slower pulse. baby is kicking strong and hard letting its presence be know all the time. it makes me giggle sometimes how funny it feels! the care and freedom i feel during pregnancy is so great. i just watched this video and encourage you to as well- it makes me so angry there is not wide spread knowledge of the safety of homebirth and midwifery care.

http://vimeo.com/6182741

hopefully my visa will come in the next few weeks?!! until then i am happy learning a new instrument with a beautiful sound.

cheers!