Donnerstag, 29. April 2010

spring arrives

here are some of the happenings in Sandrock-Linnenkohl life:

i think rhythm meets rhyme.
wake up around 6am, drink, pee, sleep, get up and eat around 8am, make tired cry, drink, sleep in didymos while mom or dad are doing whatever until lunch time at noon. pee, coo and ah at the beautiful world around for an hour, pee a few more times, drink alot, and sleep in didymos for the afternoon, wake up around 5-6pm for dinner, wake and alert, playing with nipple or slobbering fingers, looking and listening actively, peeing more, and around 7:30pm ready for bed. up in our room doing suck one breast dry, then the other, back and forth until she wants no more, lay down, then sleep till midnight or so, pee, and drink more, sleep until 3-4am pee and drink more, the 6am pee and drink more. she is asleep now next to papa two hands forming clenched balls next to her head.
we are starting to get it. and it works so well. she crys to let us know something and other than this is so content and happy. Ralf said today she has such a sense of peace, even with all the sounds around her as she sleeps because she knows she is safe and all is good, being held by her parents all the time, and sometimes the omas (grandmas in german).we finally figured out that the reason she was crying every night around 8pm was that she was tired and ready for bed. so we moved our loose schedule up to an earlier one, where we finish eating before 7:30pm so we get to bed as she is ready for it. it works perfectly!
we are so amazed at her capacity to tell us when she needs to pee and poop. sometimes we arent aware of it and get peed on, but it really doesnt matter considering its water and has no smell. I remember when the family i worked for in seattle told me about it, that i scoffed and thought how rediculous that was-thats not possible!- but it totally is. they gave us a book about it-infant potty training-which goes through tons of testimonials and experiences from around the world, perfect for my love of other cultures and wanting to find ways that meet a deep desire i have to live more natural than normal.

shout out to Mac for asking to see pics, a good kick in pants helps remind me others actually look for this.
and Kyla for the awesome knitted hat! Vivienne doesnt like stuff over her eyes but she likes this one on!

we are still looking for work. we went to the baltic sea for at 5 weeks, which turned out rather disastrous, i got a high fever and vivienne did not feel well, mostly due to the fact i didnt feel well there and wasnt really as recovered as i thought i was. and pulling my breasts out to feed when it was windy wasnt a good idea either.
at 6 weeks my mom came for 10 days, a good chance for her to see our life here and do the oma thing. we took her to see a castle in the area, to visit the raw milk farms we go to, to climb the cathedral in Cologne, to visit ceramic workshops, which are highly valued all over the world from here, and to see other various villages where we had to do things like doctor check up for vivienne-mandated by law or else the social welfare comes to check on you and see if the baby and its location is healthy enough by the person checking's standards. we found a doctor that supports not immunizing your kids, and he seems pretty chill.

Last week we went to the last hope we had in possibly finding a job here in germany, (aside from living off the government and working a few hours a week doing whatever) in a work community about 3 hours SE of us, where Ralf would work with handicapped people making wood handcrafts part time and outside doing landscaping stuff the other time. i would be able to jump in where ever and possibly learn more about felting and weaving, sewing, bee keeing and candle making and maybe be a sheep herdess on the open pastures here. if we get the job, we wouldnt be able to live on the place until next feb,-so rent an apt. elsewhere- but all three of us had a really good feeling about the place as we visited and met people there. i love working with handicapped people, and feel so comfortable with them. it was refreshing to be met and questioned-even in german-and see so many interesting things going on. So if we get this job that would be awesome, we will have a trial work time next week i think. exciting!!
and maybe we will be going to the Pyrenees in France, where i fell in love with biodynamic farming, the french language and milking sheep by hand. it all depends on the work situation now. i also found the sight for the largest folk dance festival of sorts in europe, an older woman i met when i was traveling told me about it, and i have missed the folk dances of the us so so much, during pregnancy i wanted to dance so often, but that just doesnt exist, its not something people do, let alone think is cool. and maybe we can do this for a week or two.
a few days ago i started feeling cold all over and really sensitive to any touch anywhere, almost the same like before, so i slept most of the next day and drank lots of echinachea and feel better now, but felt loss of energy and depressed. today i didnt feel so much this way but when i felt it it hit really hard, wasnt fun at all and made such strong feelings of heh? what the hell is this?i am eating well, i have a beautiful healthy baby, i wasnt this way during pregnancy why now? i think it could also be the fact that i have no friends. not one.or really we have no friends, as all but one of his friends answer the phone when he tries to connect. they dont even call back. i feel totally alone, and without support or contact. and sure i felt for a while during the pregnancy ok it takes time but now it feels just to long. its difficult. maybe i have really been in and out of depression since i started working at the farm in PA. having mostly bad interactions with others is replaced by relatively few interactions at all. but i am still putting my pinkie in for hope and ready for change. but i am struggling. i love my man, i love my girl, i love the parents, but i want other mothers to talk and relate to too. in person.
i love that its spring. let me just say how fun it is pointing out all the DANDELIONS AND NETTLES, each and every corner. we get out and take an hour or so walk almost every afternoon and seeing buds and blooms on trees, grass, animals-i saw two foxes in the forest a few days ago, bugs and bees, its great. i love spring. and all the new smells. we walked in a botanical park in Koeln a few weeks back, smelling all the flowers and new scents. see the pollen on our noses?
i send lots of love to all and wish you well
spell checker is in german now and i cant figure out how to get it back to english. oh well...