two weeks?!!

hey everybody!

planting a walnut tree with her placenta, at her birth home, angelas home behind

bath time!

tonight marks vivienne's presence in this world, a special two weeks old.
alot has happened since the birth...
lots of feeding, my milk came in full force the tuesday night after the birth and i had breasts as hot as ovens, as heard as rocks for a few days...now they start dripping and tingle like kombucha when i so much as look at her, and every two hours or so. She has gained 300 grams(~2/3lb?) since birth.
alot of poop and pee, we have read alot about elimination communication, or infant potty training/natural infant hygiene, and have started by just not wearing diapers for most of the first weeks. this has ended up with alot of funny situations... warm peerunning down my belly, and some great projectile squirts of buttery poo everywhere. one day it just kept coming, and reminded me of when the cows were finished milking at camphill, most would release large amounts of manure spraying everywhere, almost jet like...thankfully it smells much less. but we have been able to learn some of her hey i need to go-please help communication. sure its not verbal but its just like anything else she needs. we have a purple potty which has been great during feedings and caught alot of pees upon waking the last few days. her system is starting to find a rhythm now and it seems to be getting easier the more aware and open we are to helping her.
alot of sleeping...during the day, and much more awake time during the night than has been pleasant for us both.She cuddles so well. and dreams so so much. i figure thats why i dreamt so much more during her pregnancy. the range of emotions as she sleeps is so adorable to watch. and the sounds too. much better than any tv program! so pure and full of personality.
She loves music, all types, all times of the day and dancing with dad all the time too. they are a super cute couple! the rocking chair here has also been such a relaxing place to be together, she loves movement-being in the sling and cooking, cleaning everything, as long as shes not hungry or wet.

angela has this postcard and i laugh every time i read it:

for all the english only speakers it reads:
excuse me Ms., your breast is hanging out...
oh my god! i left my baby on the bus!

postpartum depression hit hard a few days after the birth, crying about anything and everything, feeling completely not able to handle any of these changes and totally out of it. ralf has been such a help, comfort and support to me. taking care of making meals for us, doing all the laundry, getting food, changing diapers and making sure i have some space to myself each day has helped alot in the whole recovery process. i liked that angela also talked to us about the birth of myself into becoming a mother, the need for tears to cleanse the past, the present and the future space. to heal wounds of generations of birthing out of fear, the cleansing of within being so important to release during this time. the ability to embrace it here and now, and have a partner who will be with me in this space until i am ready to stop crying, to hold and love me, is such a blessing. i feel much better today, and have the last few days too, with much more strength to walk around and feel myself almost back to normal.
i have found it super frustrating that i cant get access to purchase the same organic herbs i can easily in seattle...because german law restricts and forbids it. there really isnt the same openness to herbs, so much fear around them here, so i have had difficulty obtaining things i feel comfortable using to feel better. melissa(catnip), raspberry leaf, blessed thistle, and nettle infusions have all been yummy and full of minerals, as well as kombucha.

today we took our second car ride, first in the baby seat, to get raw milk. she slept almost the whole time, except for a half awake feeding because my breasts were leaking so bad...
tschuess!